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Brought to You By the Letter X - by Xander

Brought to You By the Letter X

Well, all, I was looking through the articles for the first time today, laughing my head off and pretty much just doing what I always do at Starmen.net. Uh, laughing my head off. But in any case, I have noticed that there are NO articles by people whose names start with X. why is this? I have a few theories:

1) The letter X has been descriminated against since the beginning of time. It has been considered odd, pointless, and a thief. Let me elaborate by adding more sub-levels to my article:

a) Thief. The letter X does not use its own sound. It borrows from other letters. For instance, Xylophone. This word is not pronounced "ECKS-eye-low-fone." It is pronounced "ZEYE-low-fone." What's the deal with that? Personally, I think it is because the letter X is the hobo of the Alphabet. You know, the little guy who sits on the side of the street, begging for articles and wearing a paper bag. What? No, that's not Falcon24, and I'm surprised that you would think about him that way.

My own name is pronounced with a Z sound, which has always confused me and may have lead in part to the years of counseling I've undergone. But, if ever someone has spelled my name with a "Z," or pronounced it "ECKS-an-der," upon reading it, I go completely and utterly ballistic. I know that by writing this I'm inviting hundreds of people with too much free time to make fun of my name. I'm going to hope you ignore this, and I am now going to go back to my article. Come on, nice and slowly. Come with Xander, I'm your friend.

Welcome back! What were we talking about? I can't remember. So let me go on to my next hypothesis about why there are no articles by people whose names begin with X. It involves a CIA agent, a cat, and a young man by the name of Reid Young. What, you've heard this one? Okay, fine. I'm out of stories now, I hope you're happy.

Therefore I will conclude my pointless attempt at an article by saying, Stay in school, don't do drugs, and I guess there must not be anyone whose name starts with X. Until now, that is. Well, eat your wheaties and change your names to X names, if you can find one OTHER than Xander, Xavier, Xandria, XimonBob or X-Box, and write some articles!


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