Earthbound Bowling
Today, I went bowling. Hooray for me. But this article isn't about me, it's about bowling, so let's move on.
After bowling, I thought "Wouldn't it be fun to combine Earthbound and Bowling into one super-fun activity known as Earthbound Bowling?" Now, this idea could go anywhere from here. It could be a forum topic (What do you think of bowling? - Replies: 0) or a fan game (Earthbound Bowling! Whoopee!) or an AoE prediction (What would happen if the Chosen Four went bowling.) But it isn't. It's an article.
Look around at the place Earthbound is set in, Eagleland. What kind of exciting recreation is there? Well, it looks like you can go see the Runaway Five or Venus, or head to the Onett Arcade. There are other places to go, like the library or the shopping mall, but they're just that - places to go. There are plenty of people who can whip up excitement in a flash in some places, but I'm talking about places where excitement is provided for you. Places like movies, go-karting facilities, and bowling allies.
Where are all the movies? Where are the bowling allies? There are none. Evidently, in Eagleland you have to find your own excitement. This explains why Ness has the run of any town he visits, and why Jeff can steal all those cookies without getting a wedgie: People in Eagleland will go anywhere they want, at any time, in search of excitement. This must be handy. You could just pop into the police station, grab a pair of handcuffs, and attach a passerby to a taxi. Then you could watch him get dragged around the block all day.
That's another thing. Nobody ever catches a taxi, especially in Onett. That darn taxi will keep going around the hotel again and again. Hey, buddy, it helps to STOP if you want to pick up fares. Your brakes are certainly good enough. Every time I get Ness to walk in front of a car, it keeps going at the same speed until it hits Ness, then stops dead in its tracks. Then again, maybe Ness just needs to lay off the bologna sandwiches.
At any rate, I've found an effective method of bowling if you'd care to try it out. Find some place where there are enemies who are scared of you, then use a Skip Sandwich and chase 'em. Not as good as the real thing, but in Eagleland, you take excitement when you can find it. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get another pair of handcuffs.
Today, I went bowling. Hooray for me. But this article isn't about me, it's about bowling, so let's move on.
After bowling, I thought "Wouldn't it be fun to combine Earthbound and Bowling into one super-fun activity known as Earthbound Bowling?" Now, this idea could go anywhere from here. It could be a forum topic (What do you think of bowling? - Replies: 0) or a fan game (Earthbound Bowling! Whoopee!) or an AoE prediction (What would happen if the Chosen Four went bowling.) But it isn't. It's an article.
Look around at the place Earthbound is set in, Eagleland. What kind of exciting recreation is there? Well, it looks like you can go see the Runaway Five or Venus, or head to the Onett Arcade. There are other places to go, like the library or the shopping mall, but they're just that - places to go. There are plenty of people who can whip up excitement in a flash in some places, but I'm talking about places where excitement is provided for you. Places like movies, go-karting facilities, and bowling allies.
Where are all the movies? Where are the bowling allies? There are none. Evidently, in Eagleland you have to find your own excitement. This explains why Ness has the run of any town he visits, and why Jeff can steal all those cookies without getting a wedgie: People in Eagleland will go anywhere they want, at any time, in search of excitement. This must be handy. You could just pop into the police station, grab a pair of handcuffs, and attach a passerby to a taxi. Then you could watch him get dragged around the block all day.
That's another thing. Nobody ever catches a taxi, especially in Onett. That darn taxi will keep going around the hotel again and again. Hey, buddy, it helps to STOP if you want to pick up fares. Your brakes are certainly good enough. Every time I get Ness to walk in front of a car, it keeps going at the same speed until it hits Ness, then stops dead in its tracks. Then again, maybe Ness just needs to lay off the bologna sandwiches.
At any rate, I've found an effective method of bowling if you'd care to try it out. Find some place where there are enemies who are scared of you, then use a Skip Sandwich and chase 'em. Not as good as the real thing, but in Eagleland, you take excitement when you can find it. If you'll excuse me, I'm gonna go get another pair of handcuffs.
