The Awesome Adventures of Gammaraid and Munchy
If you've ever been to #earthbound, surely you know of the great superhero Gammaraid, and his funkadelic psidekick Munchy. Now, this reporter, shall go in depth, up close and personal into the lives of these two. First, let's take a look at my interviews with them.
Me: So, Gammaraid, what's it like being a superhero?
Gammaraid: Well, people like to think it's all fun and games.
Me: ... and?
Gammaraid: Oh, it totally is.
Me: Uh huh, well, on a scale of 1-10 how much does Munchy actually help?
Gammaraid: Ah, Munchy, well, he's completely worthless.
Me: So, why did you hire him?
Gammaraid: He makes a mean free dental latte
Me: Oh yes, I've heard of his famous... whatever those are. Well, we've got to wrap this up, anything else you'd like to say?
Gammaraid: Oh, yes please, we've recently had a lack in the amount of super villians, so if you're psychotically evil, or y'know just a disgruntled worker, please, take it out by destroying the city!
Well, Gammaraid was quite astonishing, I must say. I couldn't see for about 3 weeks after that, I was simply blinded by the awesomeness. Now, onto my interview with Munchy
Me: Hello, Munchy, thanks for coming to talk with us.
Munchy: No problem, no problem at all.
Me: So, Munchy, would you say you deserve you're position as psidekick?
Munchy: Heck yeah I would! Last time we went on a mission to stop Dr. Agonair, Gammaraid got tied to a conveyor belt of doom, and I had to bore Dr. Agonair to death to save him!
Me: Yes that time you and Gammaraid stopped world peace WAS great.
Munchy: Are you even liste-
Me: Well, that's all the time I've got, see you later Munchy.
Well, isn't Munchy just a barrel of laughs? Anyways, onto the lives of Gammaraid and Munchy. These two keep the city of #earthbound safe from such villians as Dr. Agonair and... okay, well no other super villians have showed up as of late, but these two truly rock your socks. People have asked questions such as "What kind of super powers do these alleged super heroes really have?" and "Why does the government keep funding their destructive 'city saving'?" Well, I have the answers to both of those, and more!
Gammaraid is quite the amazing specimen. Not only does he have extensive knowledge of Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure, his braces emit a laser beam powerful enough to destroy your very soul, who says braces at age 29 is weird? Also, Gammaraid's claim to fame involves his amazing power to push people around 'cuz he's tougher than them, and a subscription to Teen People.
Munchy is an... okay specimen. He can cook up a mean Free Dental Latte, and bore people to death within two sentances. He also enjoys long walks on the beach and candelit dinners.
So, you ask why the government keeps funding them, especially because they destroy more than they save? The truth is, they don't. Gammaraids secret identity is really an uncontrollably rich playboy who can afford to pay for everything he blows up.
That just about wraps it up, if you were hoping this was the point the article was going to get good, you are sorely mistaken, but please, if you ever see Gammaraid or Munchy on IRC, give them a wave or a smile - They keep our streets clean!
If you've ever been to #earthbound, surely you know of the great superhero Gammaraid, and his funkadelic psidekick Munchy. Now, this reporter, shall go in depth, up close and personal into the lives of these two. First, let's take a look at my interviews with them.
Me: So, Gammaraid, what's it like being a superhero?
Gammaraid: Well, people like to think it's all fun and games.
Me: ... and?
Gammaraid: Oh, it totally is.
Me: Uh huh, well, on a scale of 1-10 how much does Munchy actually help?
Gammaraid: Ah, Munchy, well, he's completely worthless.
Me: So, why did you hire him?
Gammaraid: He makes a mean free dental latte
Me: Oh yes, I've heard of his famous... whatever those are. Well, we've got to wrap this up, anything else you'd like to say?
Gammaraid: Oh, yes please, we've recently had a lack in the amount of super villians, so if you're psychotically evil, or y'know just a disgruntled worker, please, take it out by destroying the city!
Well, Gammaraid was quite astonishing, I must say. I couldn't see for about 3 weeks after that, I was simply blinded by the awesomeness. Now, onto my interview with Munchy
Me: Hello, Munchy, thanks for coming to talk with us.
Munchy: No problem, no problem at all.
Me: So, Munchy, would you say you deserve you're position as psidekick?
Munchy: Heck yeah I would! Last time we went on a mission to stop Dr. Agonair, Gammaraid got tied to a conveyor belt of doom, and I had to bore Dr. Agonair to death to save him!
Me: Yes that time you and Gammaraid stopped world peace WAS great.
Munchy: Are you even liste-
Me: Well, that's all the time I've got, see you later Munchy.
Well, isn't Munchy just a barrel of laughs? Anyways, onto the lives of Gammaraid and Munchy. These two keep the city of #earthbound safe from such villians as Dr. Agonair and... okay, well no other super villians have showed up as of late, but these two truly rock your socks. People have asked questions such as "What kind of super powers do these alleged super heroes really have?" and "Why does the government keep funding their destructive 'city saving'?" Well, I have the answers to both of those, and more!
Gammaraid is quite the amazing specimen. Not only does he have extensive knowledge of Bill and Teds Excellent Adventure, his braces emit a laser beam powerful enough to destroy your very soul, who says braces at age 29 is weird? Also, Gammaraid's claim to fame involves his amazing power to push people around 'cuz he's tougher than them, and a subscription to Teen People.
Munchy is an... okay specimen. He can cook up a mean Free Dental Latte, and bore people to death within two sentances. He also enjoys long walks on the beach and candelit dinners.
So, you ask why the government keeps funding them, especially because they destroy more than they save? The truth is, they don't. Gammaraids secret identity is really an uncontrollably rich playboy who can afford to pay for everything he blows up.
That just about wraps it up, if you were hoping this was the point the article was going to get good, you are sorely mistaken, but please, if you ever see Gammaraid or Munchy on IRC, give them a wave or a smile - They keep our streets clean!
