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Brought to You By the Letter X - by Xander

Brought to You By the Letter X

Well, all, I was looking through the articles for the first time today, laughing my head off and pretty much just doing what I always do at Starmen.net. Uh, laughing my head off. But in any case, I have noticed that there are NO articles by people whose names start with X. why is this? I have a few theories:

1) The letter X has been descriminated against since the beginning of time. It has been considered odd, pointless, and a thief. Let me elaborate by adding more sub-levels to my article:

a) Thief. The letter X does not use its own sound. It borrows from other letters. For instance, Xylophone. This word is not pronounced "ECKS-eye-low-fone." It is pronounced "ZEYE-low-fone." What's the deal with that? Personally, I think it is because the letter X is the hobo of the Alphabet. You know, the little guy who sits on the side of the street, begging for articles and wearing a paper bag. What? No, that's not Falcon24, and I'm surprised that you would think about him that way.

My own name is pronounced with a Z sound, which has always confused me and may have lead in part to the years of counseling I've undergone. But, if ever someone has spelled my name with a "Z," or pronounced it "ECKS-an-der," upon reading it, I go completely and utterly ballistic. I know that by writing this I'm inviting hundreds of people with too much free time to make fun of my name. I'm going to hope you ignore this, and I am now going to go back to my article. Come on, nice and slowly. Come with Xander, I'm your friend.

Welcome back! What were we talking about? I can't remember. So let me go on to my next hypothesis about why there are no articles by people whose names begin with X. It involves a CIA agent, a cat, and a young man by the name of Reid Young. What, you've heard this one? Okay, fine. I'm out of stories now, I hope you're happy.

Therefore I will conclude my pointless attempt at an article by saying, Stay in school, don't do drugs, and I guess there must not be anyone whose name starts with X. Until now, that is. Well, eat your wheaties and change your names to X names, if you can find one OTHER than Xander, Xavier, Xandria, XimonBob or X-Box, and write some articles!


Other Submissions by Xander

Author Sort Ascending Sort Descending Title Sort Ascending Sort Descending Description Sort Ascending Sort Descending Date Sort Ascending Sort Descending Rank Sort Ascending Sort Descending
Xander ballad_of_eb64
Poem/Song
1/7/05 0.00
Xander Brought to You By the Letter X
495
7/31/06 0.00
Xander sword_of_kings
Poem/Song
1/7/05 0.00
Xander Twist of Fate
What if the Chosen Four were enemies from EB?
3/27/05 0.00

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